15 February 2019

Broken Healer

Sometimes I really resent the fact that my brokenness is what qualifies (and obligates) me to be of service to other broken people. Sometimes I think I would sell my soul to the devil himself to be able to experience one day of real self-confidence and peace of mind.

08 February 2019

One More Endless Day

laboring under the burden
of my own incessant thoughts
sometimes just dragging
my tired old carcass around
for one more endless day
is too much to bear

21 January 2019


What if you were just a figment
Of a fevered dream?
Would it make me love you less?
Would it make your love for me
An ineffective balm?
No, it doesn’t matter now
It never really did
Who’s to say what is Real
And what is Not?
The world inside my head
Is the one that shapes my soul
The heart knows its own reality
And sees no other
Therefore I still adore you
Madly, some might say
Let them taunt, never mind
I hear your lullaby
I curl up in your arms
And rock myself to sleep

18 January 2019


If I close my eyes
You can’t see me
It’s my superpower

Fold my arms
You can’t touch me
I am gone

See that open window
Fly right through
And soar straight up

Draw a circle in the sand
Step inside
And hide

Lie down on the shore
Let the waves
Wash me away

There must be
A million ways
To disappear

But dammit
I’m still here...
I’m still here

11 January 2019

Suckling Pig

Suckling Pig
I call myself
For I am greedy
As a newborn for the teat
The softly scented
Fleshy embrace
The rhythm of a heartbeat
So intimately known
That quiet glowing circle
In which no cares intrude
Warm skin against my lips
That honeyed nectar
Caressing my tongue
My throat
My belly...
Oh, sweet communion!
For this I am insatiable
Wandering through this life
Always searching
To find my way back
To that magic elixir
That perfect moment
Of limitless bliss
Utterly safe
And deeply loved

31 December 2018

It seemed like a good idea at the time

Okay, here's the thing...

I tried to move my other two blogs to my main one, make them pages, and consolidate everything under one URL. However, I ran into some problems. First of all, I couldn't design the pages the way I wanted them. They all had to look alike. And secondly -- this makes me feel kind of dumb -- I couldn't figure out how to post to the individual pages.

So I gave up. Persistence is not my strong suit.

As a result, I still have three blogs:

One at crystadianne.blogspot.com -- for random thoughts and mental mianderings.

Then this one at dreadedcherished.blogspot.com -- for posts related to mental illness and mental health.

And crystianity.blogspot.com -- for posts related to religion.

Your patience is appreciated.